I am excited to welcome and introduce Pamela V. Jones/Boneweaver, my partner at Bone and Briar, as a guest blogger. This month, she’s writing about her process of openness and vulnerability, but I will let her speak for herself:
On Openness and Vulnerability
When I was asked to write a guest post about openness and vulnerability my first thought was, “How do I do this without sounding all condescending and preachy. This is what I want to say, ‘Just do This! You’ll be fine! I know how you feel! Trust me!'” Once I have mastered something I become so excited at sharing it that my enthusiasm and Joy rapidly ripple off of my tongue. Sometimes that bowls over whoever I’m talking to. Heh. So, how not to do that with this subject.
“Just do This!”
This is how I’ve seen it go: “Openness, okay, I’ve got that. I’m open to the Love. I’m open to the animal world. I’m open to the Other world of unseen beings. I’m open to the humans. I’m open to the energy of the Universe. I’m open to the Gods. I have so Got This! Vulnerability? Well, I’m open. I’ve been taught to shield. I’ve been taught to protect myself. I have fancy multi-coloured bricks and self-sealing mortar! Yet, I can be vulnerable! Watch me build a door in my wall. See how pretty it is, all wooden with a majestic knocker? Just knock and I promise to let you in. P r o m i s e.”
The door is just a different style of open. It is not the same as being vulnerable though they often walk hand-in-hand. Protection is excellent, walls are wonderful, gates are awesome. To be vulnerable one must flatten the walls. Since they are magical walls they don’t disappear never to be upright again. They merely lie down temporarily and allow you to be in a place of pure potential.
This sounds easy. It is. This sounds hard. It is. It is indeed both. It is as easy as we permit it to be and as hard as we convince ourselves it must be. So, let it be both.
“You’ll be fine!”
This is the stuff that lands in the category of terrifying. Doing it anyway is what people call courage. I used to balk at being called brave. I deflected, I “bah!”‘ed at the adjective. I knew the well-worn axiom about bravery not being about absence of fear, but about doing a thing in spite it. I just didn’t apply it to myself. Not even when loved ones did. Finally I decided that maybe I was wrong. If I can see bravery in others even when they deny its existence then it may just be possible they see the same in me. Think of all the news stories where someone does a thing that is extraordinary and they say, “I’m not a hero. I just did what had to be done.” They are not all being falsely humble. They are acting in courage and the funny thing about being in that moment of bravery – it never feels like it. Yet, it is. On the other side of that moment is being fine.
“I know how you feel!”
Here’s a poem I wrote about being open and vulnerable that I believe reflects a universal experience beyond me :
On Being Fragile
I stand on the edge of the cliff,
look down at the waters who
will me to come to them,
I know I will land safely,
wrapped as a newborn in a mother’s loving arms;
Still I hesitate,
It is such a long way down.
Up on toes I go
arms stretch above my head
thumbs almost touching,
a slight bend forms in my knees and
in the pause between heartbeats,
I push off and reach for the sky.
Step into the moment. Step into openness and unfold your core and in that movement you become vulnerable. Trust in that movement and you become brave. Move with that courage and you become Power. Reach with that power and you transform.
Trust me. No. Trust you. Really. Trust You.
Pamela V. Jones/Boneweaver: BorderWalking Priestess and Mentor of the Bone and Briar line of Feri/Reclaiming tradition in Pittsburgh, PA. Bone and Briar’s mission and belief statement can be found here. Follow my personal blog at: http://pj.dreamwidth.org.