|Some rights reserved by Colleen Curnutte|
It’s time to be more conscious of my energy, to put less of myself into some baskets in order to fill other baskets.
1. I want to get married and start a family. Yeah, I will actually cop to this, though I’m still really touch-and-go on having children.
2. I want to own a home, one that has a backyard in which I can have a garden, one that I can afford to decorate to my taste.
3. I want to go on a nice vacation once a year.
4. I want to have significant amounts of time to do spiritual and creative work.
Of course, there are other things on my list…but this is the list I’m working with today, and it will serve to make my point.
What is that point, you ask? The point is this: manifesting these desires will require specific work and discipline around how I live in physical reality.
I think it’s easy to get tripped up thinking that manifestation work is all in one’s head- that one just has to think the right thoughts in order to have life shift into place. Yes, one does have to do that. But I believe it’s way more powerful to think those thoughts while simultaneously shaping one’s actions in such a way that those actions support manifestation. I can say I want something, but if I don’t move toward that desire in physical reality, I’m giving the Universe a mixed message. If my Word and my Work are in alignment, my word is then my bond…and the world will move.
I have been giving a lot of thought to my habits, slowly realizing that I’m choosing momentary pleasures over larger goals. When the pressure is on, instead of allowing myself to boil a bit, I revert back to my old ways of releasing pressure: eating out, buying tchotchkes, spending hours online, etc. I tell myself that I don’t like to cook, so it’s fine to eat out every day, three meals a day. I tell myself I need that new bag, that cute shirt, those perfect earrings, that adorable doodad. I tell myself I will just look at one more fun website, and then I’ll get to my writing and meditation. The result: I do not spend (my money and my time) as wisely as I would like, and I hemorrhage energy as a result.
Dealing with slight discomfort in this way is a pretty clear case of self sabotage. I know what I would like to have in my life, and it is larger than a new trinket or a dinner out or keeping up with the latest in internet memes. I want less transience and more weight to the stuff of my days. An abundant life demands smart choices. In tarot, the Empress is kept in check by the Emperor: limitless growth is healthy when paired with boundaries.
Will + Discipline (- Expectation) = Manifested Desire. This equation is freedom.